Becoming a less neurotic writer AKA Creative Recovery

by Becca Simone

A while back, I set out on a journey to become a less neurotic writer in 12 weeks, using The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron as my guide. Well, I’m realizing it’ll probably take way longer than that. I have a lifetime of bad habits and neuroses to overcome. Cameron calls this journey “creative recovery.” Hmm. That has a much more positive ring to it, doesn’t it?

My personal journey involves daily journaling, meditating, yoga and nature walks. I haven’t been doing any of those things as much as I would like, but I am making progress.

I normally have the meanest, bitchiest internal editor to ever walk the face of the earth. Her name is Helga. Ugly name for an ugly being. She is downright cruel. You should hear what she says to me. It’s not even printable.

During the month of November I’ve been involved in NaNo, and I think the frantic, don’t-look-back pace of writing has helped me to avoid, or at least temporarily shut up, Helga a bit. Thank God.

Some things I’ve read in The Artist’s Way have really hit home. In Week 3 Cameron talks about how anger is at the root of much of our creative neuroses. She says that “in the recovery of a blocked artist, anger is a sign of health.” Awesome. I must be a flippin’ health guru, because I’ve been mad a lot. Recently, a couple of writer friends/acquaintances who just started writing achieved greater success (ie: big sales to major publishers) than I have in all my years of struggling. I went through the mature reactions of “It’s not fair!” and “They haven’t paid their dues!” and listened when Helga told me that I’ll never achieve similar success because I suck as a writer.

Yeah, it was a really pleasant time in the Simone household.

Cameron asks us to pinpoint what it is we’re really mad at. She says anger is our friend—it will always tell us when we have betrayed ourselves. This was an “a ha!” moment for me. I’m not really angry at these friends or even the situation. I’m angry at myself—for the opportunities I didn’t explore, the countless hours I’ve wasted not writing, the wrong turns I’ve taken. It’s all about me. Now that I realize it’s me I’m pissed at, now maybe I can redirect that feeling into my work.

Cameron also talks about synchronicity, which is another word for answered prayers. Be careful what you wish for, knock and the door will open, ask and you will receive, however you want to say it. Cameron says once we begin our creative recovery, synchronicity will pop up everywhere. It’s really true. It’s happened to me. I experienced this just recently. I was just telling one of my CPs that I really want to do a blog under my pen name but didn’t have the time to go solo. I wished I knew of a group of erotica writers to blog with. The very next day I get an email from a fellow erotica author asking if I might be interested in joining a new group blog. Can you hear the Twilight Zone theme song here? Weird, eh? Another recent instance was as I worked on a promo plan for my next release. I wrote in my notebook to brainstorm creative places to hold a booksigning. That very day, a friend told me she’s planning a huge naughty toy party in February, right in time for Valentine’s Day, and would I be interested in selling some of my books there?

Try it for yourself. Put your wish or desire “out there” and see what happens. And keep me posted.

12 Weeks to Becoming a Less Neurotic Writer

by Becca Simone

Writers are neurotic. Isn’t that a given?

I’ve been in this industry for years, have dealt with my share of ups and downs, roadblocks, writer’s block, every type of block you can imagine. I’ve seen the highest of highs and lowest of lows.

I’ve seen success come easily to some, while for others—like me—every step is a well-fought battle. The longer I write, the more I understand why many writers before me have turned to alcohol, drugs or other addictions. Luckily, my only addictions are chocolate and Cheetos—good for the soul, bad for the waistline. My body’s saving grace is that my “other” job is fitness trainer and instructor (ie: I get paid to work out). Otherwise my fanny would be the size of Europe. As it is, it’s merely the size of a small country, not a continent.

Usually, I can handle the craziness. Sometimes, however, this business just makes me want to dig a deep hole and hibernate in it. I think anyone who writes can probably relate.

I hate feeling this way, so I’ve decided to do something about it. Looking back on my personal life, the time I felt most grounded and centered was when I had a regular yoga and meditation practice. Looking back on my writing life, the time I felt the least neurotic was early in my career when I didn’t know any better. It wasn’t long after I’d started writing that I read the fantastic book The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron. It’s a 12-week program to recover your creativity from a variety of blocks.

So…for the next 12 weeks I plan to combine the above efforts and share them with you on this blog. I’d love it if some of you wanted to travel this path with me, but feel free to just live vicariously through my craziness.

Here are some of the tasks “required” in The Artist’s Way:

A daily 20-minute walk outside. This will (hopefully) clear the head, work the body, bring oxygen to all the cells, and help me work through any creativity issues I might have. I plan to kill two birds with one stone and bring my energetic German Shepherd puppy with me. He’s 95 pounds of pure Tasmanian Devil.

Daily “morning pages.” This is stream-of-consciousness writing, like keeping a journal. Do this first thing upon waking up, every single day. I started doing Morning Pages about 10 years ago and have been pretty good about keeping this up. My day just doesn’t feel right unless I’ve written my 3 pages. I never go back and read them. And when my notebook is full, I shred it.

A weekly “artist date.” For at least one hour weekly, I’m to do something or go somewhere that feeds my soul. By myself. This could be browsing at a local antique store or flea market. Taking a hike along the river. Browsing a used bookstore. Driving some back roads and exploring the countryside. Whatever.

As mentioned above, I feel best when I practice yoga and meditate. So, I’m adding those to my daily and weekly To Do list.

Yoga – 2-3x a week. I teach one yoga class, so I’ll need to add one or two more practices on my own.

Meditation – this is the hardest for me. It’s really difficult to sit with my stillness and not have thoughts racing through my head at a million miles an hour. So, I’ll start slowly. Just 3 minutes of stillness, focusing on my breath. Every day.

Week One
Artist’s Way—“Recovering a Sense of Safety”
Basically, Ms. Cameron is saying that many of our blocks are due to fear, and only we can determine what we’re afraid of. My favorite quote from this chapter is, “To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.”—Joseph Chilton Pearce. I take this to mean that as I’m writing and working on my WIPs, I shouldn’t be so worried about it being “good” or “sellable”, but instead focus on getting the words down on the page. And to enjoy the process.

She says if we’re blocked in any area of our life, it’s probably because we feel safer this way. Hmm. She suggests writing down all our negative beliefs about our creativity (in this case, our writing) and then turn those around and make a positive affirmation out of each one. “Negative beliefs are exactly that: beliefs, not facts,” she says. “The world was never flat, although everyone believed it was. You are not dumb, crazy, egomaniacal, grandiose, or silly just because you falsely believe yourself to be.” Whew! That’s good to know.

I’ll check back here in a week to let you know how it’s going. Unlike with personal training, where I can measure my clients' before and after stats like body weight, body fat, and inches, there are no measurements with this plan to tell me if I’m less neurotic. I guess I’ll just have to go by how I feel. Is my internal editor a bit quieter? Am I being more productive, with less time just staring at my blinking cursor? Do I still feel like crawling into a hole and hibernating? Am I enjoying this process again?

Think about joining me. We can be crazy together.

Becca Simone's first erotica release, MIDNIGHT TREAT, is available now at The Wild Rose Press. Her characters aren't nearly as neurotic as she is.